Daily Fail: Race Car (Yes, Again.)
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First there was The Equation Races Car. That was kind of clever. Then it was Super Sonic Races Car. Also sort of clever. Then came Cross Country Race Car. Obviously a retread. And now...it's come to this. No clever adjectives. No hype. No selling angle. Just Race Car.
This bootleg is #2004 in Zephyr Knight's inventory, the stock numbers neatly following the linear progression of suck.
Like the others in the series, this toy is a direct copy of a LEGO product. This time LEGO set 4539 - Desert Racer is being pirated. The colors have been changed, but they kept the sandy background art.
As part of "Series Transformation", the Race Car has thee assembly options. Note the terrible job of photoshopping the car into the background photos.
The sides of the packaging show the box fronts or others in this series and the usual batch of child-safety warnings. There's also the continuation of the strange "3-T's" branding for the race car knock-offs. In case you can't read it, the three T's are:
T- Interesting
T-Intelligence
T-Amusement
They seemed to have forgotten "T-Errible."
Following the pattern set by the earlier sets, the Race Car instruction sheet shows both a legless driver and the one-piece driver body from LEGO. The toy included in the box is just a normal mini-figure - who of course is too big to fit into the Race Car in any logical way.
Speaking of parts, here are the three "goodies" in the set. Two pre-printed bricks and a pull-back motor. Note that the printed bricks are the same as the ones seen in The Equation Races Car and Super Sonic Races Car. Maybe they're all part of team 30/45. It's also worth pointing out that the "30" brick is a different style than the red detail brick (with the stars) seen in the cover art and instruction sheet.
Back to the included mini-figure. The driver of Race Car is constructed of parts we've seen in many a Zephyr Knight set in the past. The helmet is the same style as we've seen in the other Race-clones...but this time the construction is so poor that the visor won't attach at all. You can't even prop it up an hope...it just falls to the ground. Classy.
Other than the goofy colors, the final toy isn't that bad looking. That'll happen when you steal LEGO's designs and part molds.
The FAIL of this toy is apparent when you place the driver on it, though. With no way to steer, he holds his visor aloft and screams "Where is Your God Now?"
Evil is like that. With any luck, Divine justice will fall upon Zephyr Knight and force them to produce real, legal toys for once.
Evil is like that. With any luck, Divine justice will fall upon Zephyr Knight and force them to produce real, legal toys for once.
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As always, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.
As always, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.
posted by Christopher Doyle at
4/23/2009
13 Comments:
From what I remember, these sets were among the few survivors of a massive shipment that Lego managed to catch in customs, beat in court, and have burnt.
I think you should follow suit once the reviews are over. A big bad bootleg bonfire!
Knowing you, you probably went and bought every LEGO superhero out there, so maby there is hope, hope that justice will fall and kick these Failses Buts!
Or rent a big burner and throw them in. either way sounds good
P.s. maby cremating them? Blowing then up?.. Meh!
The creativity guy was asleep at the wheel, so to speak.
i say, put them on top of a big ol pile o firecrackers and thow a match on. FUN!
I think it's especially funny that the box art for this one shows the head from the previous two. Yet the head in the box is different.
I'm surprised no one suggested a steaming vat of acid.
When your done with all the race car sets you can have the "Total Fail Races" and see wich one will land on the "Lego Spikes of Justice" and disintergrate
What about plastic eating bacteria?
Burning plastic is bad for the earth, Anonymous.But plastic is recyclable!
I agree with these suggested fates for the FAILs, but nobody's thinking outside the box. First, throw each one into a wood chipper, then burn the remains. Feed the ashes to the dog and bury his poop, vomit, or however he reacts to these things. Heh heh heh.
No, HERE's what you do: open a modern art museum, and showcase all of these bootlegs. It fits within the definition of modern art, after all. Then again, what a dog leaves in the yard does too.
What do you do with the sets after you review them?
Probably burns/blows up/melt-in-acidifys them
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