Friday Fail: 4-Wheel Skateboard

Every Friday at noon I showcase a real failure of a toy. And by "Failure" I mean "a cheap, crappy knockoff toy that should be destroyed before it infects humanity with some sort of degenerative disease".

But first: A reminder of some basic info. These posts are meant to showcase FAILURE, not to act as a catalog. I'm not selling these bootlegs, nor should you go out and look for them on your own. These are posts about what to AVOID buying. Go spend your money on real LEGO parts. You'll be glad you did.

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Today we continue with the Zephyr Knight series of impulse-set sized LEGO knock-offs. Previously we've looked at sets No. 1001 Mining Car and No. 1002 - 3 Wheel Motorcycle. The assortment promo images on the packaging says that 1003 is a hang glider - sadly (Maybe that should be "Luckily") I don't have that set to review. So we'll have to skip ahead to set No. 1004 - 4 Wheel Skateboard.

Looking at the package front (above), it's clear that Zephyr Knight is up to their usual tricks of duplicating licensed LEGO products. The image comes directly from the box art for set 6738 - Skateboard Challenge....or does it?

Strangely, the mini-figures shown in the photo have been swapped out with new characters. What's odd is that they duplicated the pose of the central figure from the original LEGO art. We already know there's no chance that the toys inside the Bootleg Box are going to look anything like the packaging...so why go to all that effort? It's not as if they've replaced the figure with a non-LEGO toy. They've just doubled the number of copyright infringements.

Silly bootleggers.

The back of the package reminds us that this set is part of the "Series Transformation" line. Like set 1002, though, there's not a lot of transformation to be had when there's no building to be done. Instead, we get the suggestion that the male Skateboarder figure will somehow change clothes (and appearance) mid-stunt while the green-clad female prods him with a stick.

Sounds kinky.

The side of the box gives us a new image - the two skateboarders continuing to hit each other with a stick.

By this side they seem to have lost their stick, however. How tragic.

The box top shows more sets in the Series Transformation line. We'll get to Photo Graph Car soon enough.

The bottom of the box has the same child safety warnings we've seen on the other Zephyr Knight products. Yawn.

But now for a bit of excitement - the package is vague as to what is actually contained within. Three figures? Two? A ramp? No ramp? A dead cat? There's really no telling.

I'm tempted to leave this paticular Schrödinger's box closed, but you guys have come for a bootleg toy review, so I must press on.

Oh, look. A baggie of parts ad a wadded up instruction sheet. How novel. I certainly wasn't expecting that. Oh wait. Yes I was.

Looking at the parts we quickly solve the mystery. There's just enough here to put together a couple of mini-figures and a pair of skateboards. And there's a stick they can beat each other with.

I really don't know if the instruction sheet was even needed this time around. The LEGO brand "Pepper" mini-figure shown certainly isn't included - heck, even the stick is a different from part than the one included.

I guess the bootleggers felt that if you were stupid enough to buy their product you might have trouble figuring out where the skateboard's wheels were supposed to go.

Speaking of the boards, here they are in their fully assembled glory. Note the stickers - they're copies of LEGO artwork. (Note the Island Xtreme Sports logo on the one on the left.)

And here are the two mini-figures. Let's call them Thing1 and Thing2.

Thing2 is apparently an albino. His face decorations are non-LEGO, but are clearly based off of the standard LEGO-grin - with some poorly drawn eyebrows thrown in for flavor. His torso art is also of Non-LEGO origin.

Thing1 also has a custom torso - although we've seen the same design before. (The 3 Wheel Motorcycle driver had the same part.)

Thing1's face is also new...and very, very goofy. Here, let's take a closer look:

"I call this my O-Face"

And here's the fully assembled set. If you weren't regretting your Bootleg Toy purchase before, you're certainly weeping bitter tears now.

Here's an action shot using the Stick-o-lameness accessory.

In the LEGO-world the control stick is much longer - and meant to be used by the child playing with the set. But we know from the instructions and box art that this particular Bootleg Accessory is meant to dominate a skater - to make him do the foul bidding of the other mini-figure.

It's a sick, twisted world from which few escape. So don't fall in yourself.

You've been warned.

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As always, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.